why, isnt this what i have always wanted and pursued, now that i finally reach my goal of long term status then downpes, why am i hesistating....why does thi9s feeling keep coming back tugging at my heartstrings, could it be the fact that im in a dilemma shows that i really want to stay. its easy to say i wanna leave because come on, the people don fit, my talent is underused, im misused as a combat vocation, im meant to be a more intel-based combatant such as artillery etc, the only reason why i couldnt make it to command school is bcos of my fitness, now that i finally might pass ippt, it seems that a promotion is in store especially due to my elevated status of jc student, fat boy, this highlights my determination, but its ever so easy to run away....
it so easy to reason why i should quit, but i cant really explain why i should sta yet im pulled towards it, i keep flashing back o the time i was in sec2, when i left scouting, the seniors then tried very hard to keep me, just like what my commanders are doing now, that time i cried, there was a part of me which wanted to stay, now i feel that this is one thing i want to complete cos i dont wanna giveup again cos it sucks, the guilt and regret.....
then and now, why did they hold me back, trying torescue me back, could it be that he it is because he doesnt want to lose a man, or he doesnt want to lose me. i somehow have an intuition that i will gain something here if i stay, perhaps my reason for leaving are more like derived from my peers.....many believe that im different from the others, they totally see me in a different light i so do not want to dissapoint them that its was all a fairytale, knowing that some people actually has faith in you really makes it very difficult to just turn away.........
i guess this 1month status will just be a break afterall, is it time to scrap this project???is this what i really want this time??

haha, its been 1month+ since i posted here, really busy, Alvls now slacking, soon ns, when will this rushing ever end
enjoying and celebrating the last 11days of my childhood, afterwhich i will be known as an overgrown child, aka lao wan tong

engines....

2yrs of not really studying, and this is what u get, rusty engines, sitting down studying for hours feel so strange now, hope my engines will rev to max soon, but with just 2weeks left, i certainly need more than that.....haiz,i got such a long way more to cover, plugging gaps

lol life recently is full of surprises, its a wonder i actually started playing abit of soccer and for a beginner, i guess im progressing well, for 18years of my life, i finally realised that sports are actually fun probably due to my very encouraging friends who are very very patient with me haha, with them i actually managed to learn soccer....
school nowadays is like lecture festival, but well, this is gonna end in like a month+ yahoo, for now, i just gonna beawr with it, afterall its all for my own good, yay i've finally matured abit
oh ya, today i finally realised that the saying never offend a woman is very very true, especially aunties, they are the most fatal sia, what i witsnessed in school todaty was a very rare display of their fatal power, apparently its was between 2 aunties over an uitem they see as very precious and valuable worth losing their jobs over, and that very precious resource is........*drumroll* toilet paper!! haha, it was a really rare display of very very chim hokkien vulgarities that many of my frens didnt understand, so i guess my dialect is not bd since i could understand all of what i clearly heard, the vulgarities our generation use nowadays is like so basic to them, do u understand what is "gao bu" and "gao gang" i had to play interpreter lol
and when we crossed the road today we saw a vey kayu car and we were guessing the sex of the driver, lo and behold we were right its was a female lol, then while crossing another road we were on the divider when my fren tot we a female was driving the car preparing to turn towards us, and he said, eh squeeze over there abitm, femaler driver turning, very dangerous lol, turned out to be a guy i guess we looked very comical
so thats all for today i guess my life recently is finally getting intyertesting again....yeah, i'm loving it :p

busy busy busy

Wow, recently damn busy, such that no time to update since i revived MOB, rather, busy is more of an excuse for being lazy lol, hours spent surfing aimlessly around, foruming chatting etc, but i just don get the mood to blog....i just have to get started like now, then thoughts will keep on flowing through.....
Yes, its that season of the year again( not xmas la) its THE prelim fever season,
people have come,
people have failed,
yet never once was the exams hailed,
a season dreaded,
or a season owned,
it all depends on you alone....
well, its easier said than done bah, hardly studied this time round....i MUST study!!!!
whew.....now its time for me to go wander about the alleys of this virtual world

im back!!!!

woots!!!! im finally back to my old address after it was occupied by an online casino ad right after i moved out, too late when i regretted and wanted to move back, back after like 1year, it feels like finally returning to home where the cheerful MO resides lol...i promise a better blog with the many self-shots i have accumulated lol....
(to all who know my temporary resdence for the pass 1 year, p.s:its still on, the secret chronicles of emoBak)
Wow, u cant imagine how much better can i get...nowadays im really copassionate, believe it or not...
self-intro....(this feels like when i first started)
well....this is sort of a new chapter rite??
name: just call me cocky,arrogant or mrconfident
who i am: just ur average student with a ver cocky attitude lol, tend to be very humor sensitive, turns red very easily
what others think: they obviously think im confident, in fact im a tad(just a teeny weeny bit, i hope) over-confident
what i like; joking around, poking fun, basically im a joker not the kind who really respects a teacher, rather, i sort of have fun with them nvm rite, they know that im just playing around and dont mean any harm, this is why i tink they always don take my fun seriously, they jus laugh around lor,im the kind who doesnt mind laughing at others or being laughed at as long as i can derieve fun from it, no harm mah..